Encore
by NamiraN7
Summary: Encore    A silly ickle fic written after fellow fangirl discussions.     An offshoot of my Second Chances fic. Please review!


_**Encore**_

"…_as hardy as the Nemean lion's nerve. Still am I call'd. Unhand me, gentlemen. By heaven, I'll make a ghost of him that lets me. I say, away. Go on; I'll follow thee…" _

Joker was squatting in his chair, trying to push himself through the floor in an escape bid from the looks of it, willing some intangibility upon himself. He wanted out, even if he wasn't saying as much. At this moment.

"I'm not so sure about this Shepard. The arts are great n'all, but I kinda get the feeling I'm on death row." he said, reminding me never to speak too soon. "Something very painful is definitely on the horizon." He was grinning, but I knew the poor guy was dying on the inside.

It had been my idea we go out, and make some small attempt at normality, given the suicidal position we remain in. But when he agreed, then pressed me on exactly _what_, I came up empty. A couple days later, and a Newsvid gave me an idea. He didn't say much at first. But the twitch of his upper lip and slight squint of his right eye that stared blankly at me for several long moments, summed up his trepidation.

"Shh!"

Jokers' head twisted round like something from an old horror movie, looking for the culprit responsible. What exactly he was going to do when he found out I don't know. He submitted when he caught site of my glare, and resumed his slump.

"_Aggrievedly, Murder."_

"_Validating, murder most foul, as in the best it is; exaggeratory, but this most foul, strange and unnatural."_

His palm lie flat across his crumpled face, serving to cover one eye while his index finger cover most of the other. That finger would occasionally conceal it entirely if a scene was deemed by him to be especially unbearable, so it was there most of the time.

I noticed his lips were firmly pressed together, and yet that didn't stop the pained animal noises making their way out in exaggerated groans, letting everyone know his suffering.

He didn't even look impressed by the theatre, and I sure as hell was. You had your rows upon rows of seating, framed by the higher VIP balconies. You had your reaper-docking-bay sized stage and a curtain so big it could tuck in the Presidium. But the colours set off from the flickering strobe lights lining the ceiling, going from red to purple, blue to gray, ignited the great hall. As did, to a lesser extent, the oddly shaped Elcor seating area, and the stools provided for any cultured Volus guests partaking in tonights' show.

The theatre was full, and show more variety than even the Citadel. Turning your head slowly from left to right would show waves of blue, purple, white, brown and the variations of environment suits. All represented by different shapes and sizes, scales and tentacles, mandibles and the arcing hoods adorned by several Salarian in front of us. For all I know, it's a symbol of importance, but right now it just a pain in the ass that's giving Joker an excuse to not watch.

"…_thy knotted and combined locks to part. Illustrative, and each particular hair to stand on end…"_

He didn't even bother dressing up for the all-Elcor Hamlet. He didn't look bad, but I'd seen him bumming around on shore leave in the exact same thing. Navy shirt, dark blue jeans and black dress shoes. What used to be good enough for the strippers at Choras Den, if my teasing accusations were correct, was good enough for the theatre.

Though to be fair I'm not sure 'formal' is part of his vocabulary. At least he didn't bring his hat.

"You know Joker I'm starting to get the impression you're not enjoying our date." I said, keeping my eyes forward on the actors, only allowing a small glance in his direction.

He looked a different kind of pained. "Come on Shepard, you know its not that."

I grinned and shook my head at the guilty reaction I received, since it wasn't my intention to get one. "So you'd rather we just stay in my quarters all the time?"

His eyebrow flew up, as did the corners of his mouth, and I blew out frustrated breath with a raised eyebrow of my own.

"Just give it a chance, please? Then the next time _you _can pick something you'd like to do. We can… grab a burger, piss of AI's and watch Asari porn. I promise."

"Fine." He sat back. "Don't say I don't spoil ya." He reassured, putting his arm around me slowly. I laughed at our banter and rolled my eyes, then moved into him to help close the distance.

"_Curiously, O, speak of that; that do I long to hear."_

"_Give first admittance to the ambassadors, commandingly; Boasting, my news shall be the fruit to that great feast." _

The droning continued, and I was well into feeling what Joker was. No way I would ever admit that to him, but it was true all the same.

But seemingly on my track of thought, he leaned into my ear. "With pain, this is the worst play in history." he adopted a fairly good monotone voice. Only slightly hindered by his smile; the Elcor were never that self assured.

I couldn't resist joining in. "With irritation, I cannot give my opinion with your frequent interruptions."

"Teasingly, you cannot say that in all seriousness while smirking."

"Chastising, stop flapping your gums and watch the play."

He did, but he didn't take his eyes away from me. He was up to something, and I knew it.

He shuffled around, at first I thought just fidgeting. But he moved closer to me, and it was suddenly very obvious just how he thought he'd pass the time.

My body knew it before my brain did.

He moved to the left side of his chair until he nearly rest on mine. I kept my gaze fixed on the play, not letting myself get distracted by his monkeyshines.

"_Wondering, Came this from Hamlet to her?" _

"_Abrupt, Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful." _

His arm was initially crooked, leaning on the armrest that lay between us. I wasn't sure if it was intentional but his arm brushed against my right breast several times. I'd say we're cramped together and accidents do happen, but this is Joker we're talking about.

And as much as I thought it sounded stupid, the small gentle strokes were sending little ripples through me. I was watching the show, but no longer paying an inch of attention. Joker had gotten his way once more, he had my complete undivided interest.

Sure enough, his arm had purpose. Keeping against my breast, and soon, my nipple, his hand went to my thigh. It lifted off slightly, but only to give his fingertips enough room to slowly set a drift up and down my thigh, then my inner thigh, quickly coming into close proximity to my crotch.

It became a little too much, too quickly. I was all to aware of the sentients around us, and I was now two kinds of flustered.

"Joker… we might get caught."

This only seemed to egg him on further. His fingertips ran up my arm, nearing my bosom yet again… and I was very conscious of that by the look of things. But he was grinning away, obviously amused at the combination of my hesitance and his daring.

"With wood, we do not mind reproductive activities taking place in our theatre."

I shook my head. "You know, using that voice is the best way to get rid of _my _wood."

A moments pause. "So… when's the intermission?" Dog. With. Bone.

"I don't think there is one."

"Wouldn't you like to take a break, Shepard?"

"And why would I like to do that, _Joker_?" I said in a mocking tone.

"Maybe you'd like to... get yourself a _hotdog_?"

I laughed.

"No? Maybe you'd just like to… _wet your whistle_?"

"How long til you run out of innuendos?"

He stretched and shuffled to the edge of his seat. "Well okay then" he got up "guess I'll go by myself."

"Not sure why you're complaining" I said, rearranging myself in my own seat "you've been doing that for years."

And he actually left. He scooted along the row in a glide, and strolled out the front exit, not looking back once.

_I'm not following him._

"_Despairingly, away, I do beseech you, both away: I'll board him presently."_

… _I'm following him. _

I got up and began the shimmy, said my pardons along the way, and made my way down as quietly as possible. All too aware of the interspecies tutting heading in my direction.

I went out the door and stepped into the empty hallway. I took a few steps out and looked around.

"Jok-"

I couldn't finish calling him, someone had rushed me into an indent in the wall, pinning me there with their knees and roughly taking hold of my hands. I just about missed bopping my face against the surface, if not for his forearm softening the blow. I felt them straightening and getting in closer behind me.

I might have snapped their neck if I didn't recognise that pointy apparatus pressing firmly against the small of my back.

Hands still wrapped over mine, he stretched them up, my arms following suit until they were over my head and held there. He pressed himself against me again, and I found myself filled with fond memories of that particular old friend.

Feeling playful, I try pushing back, only for him to tighten his grip and growl into my ear. I wait until he's relaxed a little, and try a second time, but this time he shoves me into the wall. And its my turn to let out a little growl of my own.

So often he was mellow and sarcastic, but in the right mood his tone would become hushed, gentle, exciting and manly, and it admittedly drove me wild. "You seem to have a problem with authority, Shepard."

His lips were at my ear, and his words came out in deliberate soft blows into it, I couldn't help closing my eyes to savour them. "Sorry to have to do this, but you know what protocol says."

He reached round the waist of my pants and began tugging them down,

all the while running his bottom lip over my neck and planting soft wet kisses on the back of it. His breath heavy with anticipation.

I didn't have to be told to keep my arms held upright, I was past pretending I didn't want this. I answered him in a whisper, not wanting to distract Joker from his job at hand. "You gonna try and make 'Court Martial' an innuendo?"

"No need." One final tug, and I could feel his urgency at my thigh. "For now, I'm giving you hard labour."


End file.
